Soul Food
Soul Food
Broken Beyond Repair (Part 15)
Raw testimonies of transformation take center stage as former addicts, abuse survivors, and the spiritually empty reveal their journeys from darkness to light. Through powerful testimonies, we explore the transformative journeys of individuals who once believed they were beyond repair until they encountered God. This episode confronts real-life struggles with addiction, trauma, and emptiness while revealing the path to complete restoration.
These aren't overnight success stories but authentic journeys of sustained commitment to change. If you identify with these struggles, take the Broken Beyond Repair Challenge. Your story of transformation could be next!
Begin to see great changes in your life. Call now at 1-888-332-4141 or text the word CHALLENGE to 1-888-312-4141.
Now streaming on all major podcast platforms, edifying your mind, body and soul. We welcome you to listen now to Soul Food with your main host, bishop Joshua. Here we are always ready to share a word of faith. Unpack powerful testimonies and divinely inspired music to enhance your faith. Walk, feed your faith wherever you go, quench your spiritual hunger. Give the food that lasts forever here on the soul food podcast.
Speaker 2:Broken Beyond Repair the untold stories of those who were once broken.
Speaker 3:They were once broken, but God has repaired, renewed, transformed their lives. Today, we are going to see the stories of all these people. Today, we are going to see the stories of all these people In this ministry, in the Universal Church. These are the people that we welcome. These are the people that we seek to help those who are broken, those who are completely down, destroyed. They are considered lost case, lost sheep, black sheep, you name it.
Speaker 3:But Jesus came for people like that and right now, together with Pastor Samuel, we are going to hear the dark side of their lives and I want you, who are watching me right now, if you relate to their stories, take the challenge, the challenge of this program, broken beyond repair. Let me prove to you that you are not beyond repair. Let me prove to you that there is a solution, there is a way out for you. By my side, I have this and she's going to tell us about her dark side. Your name, my name, is Sandra. Sandra will tell us her story. Let me introduce you also Orestes. Orestes, he's going to share with us the dark side of his life. Also, we have here today Brianna, Briana. Briana also had a horrible life since she was young, but let me prove to you that there is hope for you. Pastor Salah, who do you have over there?
Speaker 6:I have here by my side Miss Jacqueline right, Miss Jacqueline.
Speaker 7:Jacqueline McLean.
Speaker 6:I also have Ashley, yes, and Daisy, this person, bishop, that's living a life of dependence, depending on an addiction. They can be free. It's not too late. Don't give up. There is hope for you.
Speaker 3:Orestes, the mic is yours. Who was Orestes back in time?
Speaker 4:Well, it started off for me, bishop. It started when I was young. I would see my parents smoke. I started at eight years old, I believe nine. I would see my parents smoke and I would grab their cigarettes.
Speaker 4:Living with a family that's also in addictions, you see and you follow and you do. It led me to a life um prison. I did seven years prison. Um, I was lost, but homeless. Um, what addiction didn't I have? I was addicted to meth, heroin, cocaine um, crystal, um, if it. If I wasn't sniffing the cocaine, I was injecting it. If I wasn't smoking the heroin, I was injecting it. If I wasn't homeless, smoking the heroin, I was injecting it. If I wasn't homeless, I was looking for the drugs. I was lost, bound, I mean, you name it Coming out of prison, being in a dark place. On top of that, my family was involved in witchcraft, so it made my spiritual life a lot darker. Nothing seemed to go right. Everything was wrong, the problems in our family. It just kept going and going and going and I didn't know how it was gonna stop.
Speaker 3:Orestes, tell me about those seven years in prison. How was life in prison there inside behind the walls?
Speaker 4:Well, I went to prison. I just turned 19 years old and I got a sentence of seven years. I'm spending my adulthood in prison with a baby on the way. My baby mom was six months pregnant, a daughter in a way, and I get sentenced to seven years. Well, what was the charge?
Speaker 3:211, attempted murder and gang enhancement okay, and then you stayed there for seven years. Yes, sir, did your life change inside or you got?
Speaker 4:worse in prison. As a matter of fact, from seeing the way my father was, I follow along. My father went to prison, so I went to prison. One thing that I did recognize that I was becoming just like my father. The same lifestyle, the same patterns. Nothing got easier and I thought that was just the way to go.
Speaker 3:So seven years in that dark place, seven years.
Speaker 4:Seven years.
Speaker 3:When you came out of prison, how was life outside? Because I do go to prison, I do pray for people in prison and you know what? All inmates, offenders and some of them are watching us now and they always say I want to go to the free world, but when they leave prison it's a different story yes, the reason why it's so difficult.
Speaker 4:When you go in prison, you accustomed to the scenario, the surrounding, the lifestyle there. You have to accommodate yourself, your mind and your lifestyle the way you think. In other words, you do time and don't let the time do you. So you come out of prison and you confront reality, you confront people and any little attitude, any negative thing, you're going to respond the same way as if you were in prison. So it becomes a mind thing and it's easier just to go back to prison and deal with the same thing, to come out and deal with reality.
Speaker 3:Okay so you came out with the prisoner's mind. How old was your daughter when you came out?
Speaker 4:My daughter was six, going on, seven years old.
Speaker 3:Wow, and how was life outside prison?
Speaker 4:I came out expecting I wanted to do good. I wanted to, but unfortunately, because of my circumstances and my situation, everything just got worse. I tried to do good, but nothing else changed Everybody around me, including my family. Everything just got worse.
Speaker 3:You are watching us right now and you say I came recently, I came out of prison and you are struggling. Come to see us, nobody wants you. Fine, I do. Come to see us and come the way you are. If you are doing drugs right now you have crack, okay, you have rights now cigarettes, you are drinking every weekend, you drink non-stop. You cannot be a father, mother for your children. Come to us a few. You are going to see how God repaired the life of arresters. Let me go now to Brianna. Brianna, have you been to prison? No, sir, no. Have you been doing the things he did?
Speaker 8:No sir, but I did have my stepfather, that did.
Speaker 3:Okay, the stepfather did. I'm asking you this question because somebody may say but I did not go to prison, I was not like arresters, fine, but maybe you had the same problem. Brianna had. Listen to it now.
Speaker 8:So when I was four I lost my father due to someone that was drunk and mistaken him as a gang member. From that my mother actually started with the addictions. She would leave me and my younger brother home alone and that's when my depression started, because I did have depression. After that my mom did remarry and from there my life just went downhill even more. I was a living hell.
Speaker 8:My stepfather would drink, smoke, marijuana, crack in the house, invite friends over and I would see him hit my mom and because of that I didn't have trust with anybody. I was always looking over my shoulder because I was scared that someone was going to hurt me. I didn't trust any man. I didn't have trust for anybody. I was always rude. I had depression and because of that I wanted to commit suicide. I fell into the deepest depression, but of course I never let anybody see. I did have friends that wanted me to try drugs, to smoke, to drink with them, but I didn't want to because I saw how that affected my life at home. I got to the point where we had to leave the house for a few days because my stepfather was drunk and he was hitting on my mom and we couldn't take it anymore. And that's when my anger, my hatred for any man started.
Speaker 3:You said for any man. You started having problem with men like hating men for what you saw at home.
Speaker 8:Yes, sir, it started with when my father got shot and he got killed in front of me, and then because of my stepfather as well, seeing that, okay, well, I get my father taken away from me, and then someone new comes into my life and he's just the same as the guy who killed my father.
Speaker 3:So wow, wow, wow, hold on please. So you saw your father being killed in front of you. Then somebody came into the picture to replace your father, married your mom, but you saw this stepfather doing the same, the guy who killed your father doing yes sir, how old were you?
Speaker 8:I was four when this happened, and then my mom remarried when I was six.
Speaker 3:So you were still a child, a little girl, and you had these two traumas. Yes, sir, inside of you, yes, so you suffer from this trauma. You saw your father, your son, somebody be killed in this family, in front of you. Until today, you don't know how to overcome. You have been searching for inner healing. Stay tuned, don't go away. Brianna is going to prove to you that this brokenness inside of you can be repaired. I have also here on my side Sandra yes, sandra who had also similar problems, situations in life. Sandra, tell me about your dark side.
Speaker 9:It started at the age of 12, where I carried a lot of sadness and anger inside of me, because at school I would always hear my friends talk about their family, how their family was perfect, how their family would always go places every day, or even the weekends. And my family was different, because I would always go into my house and my parents arguing a lot, and it was a nonstop thing. So every time that I would come from school I would hear the arguments. I would just go to my room and start crying, have the lights dimmed, because I didn't want to hear my family fight anymore.
Speaker 9:And I always ask why I'm stuck in this family, why I'm in here, like why can't my family be perfect like my friends? So I always had that thought and anger started growing inside of me. So every little things that my parents would talk to me or my siblings would say, that anger grew in me and I would always had a physical, physical fight with my sister, you know, because she always always got on my nerves, let's just say, and she always knew how to pick on me and get me upset. And so it was then that I just had that hatred towards my family.
Speaker 3:So Sandra, I'm sorry to interrupt you. So you used to see one family at school, the kids talking about a good family, but going home it was a different story. Yes, sir, you were like those people who watch movies. They watch movies, tv, and they want to have what they see. Not so often what we see. You know what you see on the TV, the happy couples, the actors. Not so often what you see is real. That's why, from time to time, you see all over the news the killing, the murderers, the divorce, because life is not a performance. Life is real. In a film, you are going to see the transformation, the life of Rihanna, orestes and also Sandra, but not Pastor Samuel, not just them. You have other guests there.
Speaker 6:Yes, bishop, this person who is in suffering, they can reach out because these here with me, they were in suffering as well. These ladies, they were in suffering, but God set them free. Tell me, ashley, what was the suffering that you were going through.
Speaker 5:Basically, before I started to come into the church, um, I was having like a lot of emptiness inside of me. I was trying to do anything to like fill that void, like partying, um smoking, going out to clubs, um sleeping around with different dudes, um all those type of things just to fill those voids.
Speaker 6:And let me ask you, by doing all those things, if you don't mind me asking, how long were you doing those things?
Speaker 5:So I did the smoking for about maybe from like 17 up to like 21, so around four years or so. And then the partying. I was doing that since like 16 up until 21. So basically I stopped doing everything like at the age of 21, but I was doing everything like in my younger days, like high school days so for four years, or you were there trying to fill the void, trying to fill that emptiness that you had inside of you.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I don't think you were able to fill it because you had to do those things for four years, right? Yeah, so for those four years you were trying to fill the void, but you were drinking, partying.
Speaker 5:Nothing was helping, right, four years you were trying to fill the void, but you were drinking, partying. Nothing was helping, right, it was only getting worse, and everything just kept like basically going downhill, like I kept trying it but nothing was helping and it was only getting worse but why did you have that void inside of you?
Speaker 5:um, because I felt like I wasn't really like loved at home. I didn't have like too much peace inside of me. I was dealing with like slight depression and I was dealing with health issues. So it kind of like make me back away from like going to church and dealing with God because of the situations I was dealing with.
Speaker 6:So altogether the problems cause that emptiness. Yeah, and you try to fill that emptiness, but it didn't change anything. No, you said it even got worse, right?
Speaker 5:Right.
Speaker 6:Maybe you're watching us right now and you have this void inside of you, just like Ashley did, because you don't have the void today we're going to talk about in just a few but you have this void, void, this emptiness inside of you. Reach out, because god, he can change this situation. Thank you, ashley. Tell us what was your suffering I was suffering with emptiness. You were empty empty as well I was empty.
Speaker 10:I was trying to fill the emptiness with friends, parties with drinks, drinking alcohol and doing all mistakes in my life.
Speaker 6:So I can say that your situation was just like Ashley's. You were trying to fill the emptiness, you were trying to fill the void that you had inside. For how long were you partying, drinking, smoking? How long were you in that situation?
Speaker 10:For around five years.
Speaker 6:For five years.
Speaker 10:Yes, and I thought that I need to get married to fill that emptiness. And then I got married and the things got worse because I started fighting with my husband and we didn't, you know, we didn't get together because different lives, you know, he has his problems and I have mine and we only fight in our marriage.
Speaker 6:So you even tried to get married to fill that emptiness, but it only made the situation worse. Yes, and how long were you in that situation for the suffering? You said five years right, yes, five years.
Speaker 10:And after that I got married it was around two years with my husband.
Speaker 6:So let's say seven years or so empty in a void. Maybe you're watching me right now and you say, pastor, I haven't been empty for four years like Ashley, or for seven years, but I've been empty for decades. Now it seems hopeless. I don't know what to do anymore. God is the solution for you. He can fill this void that you have inside. Thank you, ms Jacqueline. Tell us what was your suffering, what were you going through?
Speaker 7:Well, my suffering was I was addicted to alcohol. I drank for many, many of years and all of a sudden, two years ago, I just stopped drinking. I woke up. Woke up one morning. I say don't want anything else to drink anymore miss jacklin, how long were you drinking? Oh, I drank for probably 30 years, a long time for for 30 years.
Speaker 6:Yeah, you, you couldn't let go of the bottle couldn't let go of the bottle no, sir, but what were you used to drink?
Speaker 7:I'd drink anything that was in a liquor store. I'd drink Kavase, hennessy, vodka, gin, hard liquor. Yeah, hard liquor. Yeah, yes, sir.
Speaker 6:It wasn't something that was mixed together. You would drink just a pure hard liquor.
Speaker 7:I'd mix a little Sprite here, a little grapefruit, something there.
Speaker 6:But let me ask you, ms Jacqueline. You said for 30 years or so you were drinking, right, mm-hmm, why were you drinking?
Speaker 7:Emptiness, family life was raised up with, always parents fighting all the time and stuff like that.
Speaker 6:So, because of the problems that you had at home, because of the situation that you would see in your home, it led you to start drinking.
Speaker 7:Led me to start drinking.
Speaker 6:And for three decades you were addicted to alcohol, addicted to that situation. You can let go of the bottle. Yes, If you don't mind me asking, how much do you think you spent just on alcohol in those 30 years?
Speaker 7:oh boy, thousands and thousands of dollars can't even multiply up or add.
Speaker 6:I don't know, I'm not sure if you don't mind, I'm gonna ask another personal question. Did you have a blackout? No, I never had a blackout you never had to black out, but were there days in in which you, when you drank, you got up the next day. You forgot certain things.
Speaker 10:Yeah.
Speaker 6:Because of the alcohol, you were so inebriated that you used to forget things.
Speaker 7:Yes, sir.
Speaker 6:Maybe you're watching me right now and you have a bottle in your hand, miss Jacqueline she couldn't let go of the bottle and maybe you have a bottle in your end as well. You're drinking because of the problems in your family. Maybe you're just like these two here. You're trying to fill the void, the emptiness inside of you.
Speaker 2:There is hope do you feel broken and helpless? Join now the Broken Beyond Repair Challenge and begin to see great changes in your life. Call now at 1-888-332-4141 or text the word CHALLENGE to 1-888-312-4141.
Speaker 3:Take the challenge, don't give up. Maybe you will say I have to give up because I tried here and there. Well, you tried the wrong people, the wrong place, even the wrong God. But I'm showing to you the right people, the right place and also the right God. You are going to see now the transformation. They spoke about their dark side. You are going to see now how the light of God shone upon their lives. Who is Orestes now?
Speaker 4:Well, today I can honestly say I've been sober. My life has been transformed. Now I'm actually able to help people that are going through my situation, that have been through my situation. I can say that once I got sick of being sick, god transformed my life. Say that again. Hold on, hold on. Say that again. You got what Sick of being sick. God transformed my life. Um, say that again. Hold on, hold on. Say that again. You got what sick of being sick? When you hit rock bottom, you're down. You're sick of being sick and sick of being tired. Um, I gave god a chance and I didn't have nothing to lose with god. I had so much more to gain. Um, my life has been completely transformed. It was not easy, but the struggle was worth it because god gave me the answer.
Speaker 3:You never thought you could ever go off drugs. That's lifestyle street life.
Speaker 4:I didn't think that I I honestly thought that I could not there were. There was no. It was impossible for me to stop putting a needle in my arm because I couldn't control it. I couldn't stop. But, god, you're free now, completely free. I'm happy. My life has been completely transformed. Do you have a peace or a rest? Oh, that's the biggest thing I've been able to receive, that peace, the peace that is like no other, the peace that is like no other. And that peace is not just a peace in me, but people can see the evidence of the peace, of the transformation.
Speaker 4:So they see the difference, the old you and the new, you, yeah, and some people not to go back. But I remember one person told me one day that I haven't seen in years. He said, man, I thought you would have been dead by now. But now they see me now and they can't believe. And all I can say but God Amen.
Speaker 3:Congratulations, oresis, brianna, tell us now the transformation.
Speaker 8:Now, bishop, it's completely. I'm completely transformed from being a girl that was depressed, had insomnia, would use guys, is coming from a broken home. Now I'm completely transformed. My family now all serve God. We are all united. I no longer have depression. I no longer have any hate. I have peace within me and I have received the Holy Spirit, which is the greatest blessing that I can receive.
Speaker 8:But it wasn't easy At first. My mother did invite me and I would just go to please her. It took me a while. It wasn't something that happened overnight. I didn't want to give in. I didn't want to give God a chance, because I was. I felt that if I gave him a chance and he felt me, then I was done, for it was either I die or he changes my life. So, hitting rock bottom, I decided okay, you know what, if God doesn't fix me, if he doesn't give me the transformation that I need, then I might as well end my life. But thank God that, giving Him that chance, that opportunity to transform me, to renew me, I have been completely transformed, in my family as well.
Speaker 8:What about forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness? Sir, I forgave my stepfather. We have a relationship now, because before I would just get home and I wouldn't even speak to him. I couldn't look at him in his face. I couldn't be in the same room with him. I had so much hatred, but I forgave him. I forgave the people that had killed my, had taken my father away from me. I forgave him. I forgave the people that had killed my, had taken my father away from me. You forgave. I forgave for real. Yes, I did. You forgave the man who killed your father. Yes, sir. And if, how was God gonna forgive me for all that I did if I couldn't forgive you know the person next to me, so, giving my life to God? He gave me the strength. He gave me the forgiveness, the ability to forgive, because it wasn't me, it wasn't from my strength.
Speaker 3:Good, that is great. So amazing, you who hold grudges. You are holding grudges against someone you want to forgive, but you don't know how. Come to see us at the Universal Church. We are going to help you spiritually how to forgive, how to let it go. Uh, thank you very much. Brianna sandra. Your turn ready? Yes, how did god transform your life?
Speaker 9:um, well, as you mentioned before, you know, watching movies or comparing my family to other fam, um, my friends, um, and I didn't see that I didn't have a perfect family. I had thoughts of killing my family, thinking it was a solution. But once I was invited to come to church, I it was a process. It was not easy, it was a process.
Speaker 3:So did you try killing somebody, attempt killing your family yes, I did.
Speaker 9:I attempt um to kill my family. I didn't have a list written down, but it was a day-to-day, depending who got me upset.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry what was the plan? What do you have in mind? I'm asking this because I go to prison and there in prison we help people that did so. There are many people in prison that killed the entire family and we help them, but we know that before they killed somebody, they had these evil thoughts. What were the thoughts in your mind?
Speaker 9:My thought was just to kill them, just to stab them from the back and everything will be resolved. I thought that was like the only solution that I had, because at that very moment of my anger, the sadness and comparing my family to others, or even watching movies and having that perfect family, thinking that was the only solution I had.
Speaker 3:Praise God, you did not kill anybody. Exactly what has God done for you, sandra?
Speaker 9:Now I can say compare my family to the movie. My family is way better than movies. Now you see that the movies are fake, exactly. Yes, now, true happiness. Now I get to talk to my family, my mom, my sister that I used to physically fight. Now we get along. It's like a whole, complete transformation, complete, transformation, complete.
Speaker 3:Well, I just showed it to you through Briana, orestes and Sandra, that you are not broken beyond repair. I just proved to you that, yes, you can have your life transformed. But I cannot stop here, pastor Samuel, because the guests you have by your side are also living proof that nothing, no one, is broken beyond repair before our God.
Speaker 6:Exactly, bishop, there is hope for you. If they, if these three that are here with me, they saw their life change, your life can change as well. Ashley, you mentioned that you were empty. You had this emptiness inside of you. Tell us, do you still have this emptiness?
Speaker 5:No, I don't have it anymore. I don't go out to clubs and party anymore. I don't drink anymore. I don't smoke anymore. I don't deal with the dudes that I was dealing with. I kind of, you know, let all that company go that I was with, that was helping me make those bad choices. I'm at peace with myself. I don't need all those things to fill those voice anymore. It's just, all you know, got better once I came into the church.
Speaker 6:So today you have peace. Yes, today you don't want to have that emptiness inside of you, right? No, I don't need none of of those things because when you try to look for the emptiness in the world, you're never going to find it. She tried to and she didn't find, but when she came here to this ministry, you found peace. Right, ashley, now someone else that had emptiness inside. Let me ask you do you still have the emptiness inside? No more emptiness.
Speaker 10:I am free of emptiness. Uh, I don't depend on others, I only depend on god so you stop the drinking, the partying.
Speaker 6:How is your life today?
Speaker 10:today I'm happy. I I have peace. I don't need nobody to be happy. I don't need my kids, even because I depend on God.
Speaker 6:So today, that emptiness, that void that you felt you don't have to fill it with your kids, with the husband, with any of that, because the one that fills your void is God. Right, yes, that's true.
Speaker 3:And then we don't forget, pastor Samuel, what she told us, right? She was saying that she was empty and she got married to have somebody in life in order to fill the void. And I wonder how many people do the same. They go on a date. They don't know a person, they just go to live together out of the blue because they have this emptiness. But once a person receives the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, you shall no longer be empty because the Holy Spirit does it all. Whether you have a husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend or not, or nobody, even if you are alone by yourself, you don't feel lonely because the presence of God dwells inside of you, right?
Speaker 10:Right, that's right Now. I am happy. I have peace. I don't need nobody to be happy. All that I need is God. God in my life.
Speaker 6:And you see, she saw a change. You can see a change as well. Look over here, Pay attention. You can see your life change these two. They're no longer empty, Ms Jacqueline. You couldn't let go of the bottle for 30 years, right, Ms Jacqueline?
Speaker 7:Right. Yes, sir Right.
Speaker 6:Now did you finally let go of that bottle?
Speaker 7:Finally, let go. When I let go, I let go. Yes, I did, I let go.
Speaker 6:So you lived for 30 years on the bottle in addiction. What has God done for you, Ms Jacqueline?
Speaker 7:God has transformed my life. I was baptized with the Holy Ghost and I mean my life is just. I have peace, I have joy, I have happiness. When I'm at work, people say, oh, I feel the presence of God around you and I'm always talking about God all the time. And I mean I just, it's just, it's just different, it's just, it's a great feeling.
Speaker 6:I'm sorry to interrupt you, but when you were drinking during those 30 years, at times could people smell the alcohol on you?
Speaker 7:Probably so more than likely on you.
Speaker 6:Probably so More than likely so before they could smell the alcohol on you Today they don't smell the alcohol, but they feel peace around you. They feel peace around me.
Speaker 6:Because, you have the Holy Spirit. Yes, maybe you say, pastor, I'm in the same boat. I've been drinking, smoking, doing all these things for decades. All people do is smell the weed, the alcohol on me. Today, ms Jacqueline, wherever she goes, people feel peace around her, and you can have this. You can have this peace and you can transmit it to others. You're not broken beyond repair. God can repair you, god, he can change your life, he can change your situation.
Speaker 3:They now have these. They're not smiling now. He can change your life. He can change your situation. They now have this. They're not smiling now, but they're smiling inside. No, now they are. Even when they are not smiling on their face, their soul smiles. Their soul is happy. They are not actors, they are not pretending. You can find the same hell.
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